No matter what your age, height, weight or physical appearance, there are thousands of women out there eager to meet you and eager for your company…whether short-term or long-term relationships are what you want. If you have found yourself suddenly “on-the-market” again after a relationship has dissolved or are just too busy with your work to spend a lot of time looking for a lady to keep you company, online dating can open the door to the dating scene for you.
The good news is that all you need is a computer and an internet connection to get started. The first thing to do is find an online dating site that fits your needs. There are the large sites that offer many extras like live video chat and even match you up with ladies using your profiles and, also, a lot of sites that cater to special interests like religious preferences, outdoor enthusiasts, gays, etc. You need to choose one or two that will meet your needs. I don’t recommend the free sites. The paid sites have a money back guarantee if you aren’t satisfied and the investment is small. A whole month costs less than one dinner and movie date.
The next thing you need to do is write a killer, but honest, profile and upload a recent but flattering picture of yourself. Now you are all set. Start contacting women whose profiles sound interesting to you and answer any lady who contacts you…and do so promptly…not, however, on holidays or weekends. You don’t want to appear that desperate. Don’t give up after a month and think you will never find the right woman for you. New people join internet dating services daily and at least half of them are girls many, of whom, will want to meet you.
Online dating is not a competition between competing males for the attention of a female. Grow up. Change your mind set from “winning” to “searching”. This isn’t high school. You are all grown up and have been for quite some time, now. Your attitude is the most important asset you have. You should like yourself and not concentrate of all of the things that aren’t YOUR idea of the perfect guy…the one the all women want.
What is that women want, you ask? That’s the age old question. Being of the female persuasion myself, I can tell you a few things women want and don’t want.
Women want a man to be confident…NOT an arrogant jerk. There’s a big difference. You will need to like yourself rather than be self depreciating but you don’t need to come across like you believe that you are a gift to them from God and also have just fallen from the sky. They don’t want you to think that THEY just fell from heaven and are some kind of perfect being, either. They can’t live up to that expectation.
Women want a communicator. The “strong silent type” really isn’t appealing at all. They think you probably don’t have an original thought in your head and you almost certainly haven’t heard a word they said, either or that you just don’t care what they said or didn’t even hear what they said. They want you to be interesting enough to want to know more about you and they want you to believe that they are interesting enough to ask intelligent questions about what is important to them, too.
Women do NOT want to be a prize to be won. They don’t really desire to be a trophy. They want to be the ONE woman that you want to be with.
People have taken to online dating like a duck takes to water…because it works…or, at least, it can work. Women are, in general, terrified of meeting a guy that she has been chatting with online. All they have heard about are the scary things that can happen…and, I must say, they have a right to be careful to the extreme. That’s not only wise but vital. So what’s a nice man to do? You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo. You are just a nice guy looking for “the” girl for you.
You must be patient. Don’t press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives. Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking with you online. Don’t try to rush her into conference face-to-face. She will think you are eager or a pervert. Patience. Patience. Patience.
Be absolutely honest about your appearance and job. A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit. Eventually she will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one.
A picture really is worth a thousand words. Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots. If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn’t just see your head.
Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours and that she bring a friend with her. After all, you have nothing to hide. You’ve told her the reality about yourself and she’s already seen a great deal of pictures of you. The only thing left is to make her feel safe meeting you.
Ask the Right Questions First
OK. You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile. You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact. What now? How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential whatsoever? You need to find out something about who this strange woman is really and not just who she wants you to believe she is. It would be nice if women wore labels like “Gold Digger” or “Daddy’s lady”….but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out and you can’t just ask direct questions. You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this female if you decide you want to do that.
After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?” Listen carefully to her answers. She’s going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men generally.
Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?” Now she’ll let you know if she has had any bad experiences dating o line and help you to avoid making the same things wrong.
Now for the all-important one…..”What caused the break up in your last relationship?” If she puts all the blame on the man, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same. If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve noticed the right answer. Move forward but always with caution.
Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the very first time.
Honesty Really is the Best Policy
When you join an internet dating service, you are looking for a girl that you can like…even come to love. That girl is looking for a guy that SHE can like or even love. What you aren’t looking for is a woman who would like your best friend or your notion of what the perfect guy looks like or talks like or thinks like. So, in order to find the right woman for you…and she IS out there…you need to be completely honest with yourself about yourself when writing the online profile, during the dating process and beyond.
The best way to begin writing your profile is to carefully analyze your past relationship (s). What was right? That which was incorrect? What things really made you like the last young lady? Which didn’t? Don’t assume that just because you hated that your last girl was so totally self-involved that she couldn’t see anything else, you’ll be able to overlook that quality this time. You won’t.
If you aren’t 6’1″ with a six-pack to be proud of, don’t claim to be. If you are a bar tender, don’t claim to be a lawyer with a six figure income. If you’re 40 going on 50, don’t pretend to be 30 something.
Remember, the idea here is to find a girl who will like you exactly like you are. When you have lied in your profile, the first face-to-face conference will remove all her doubt that you are a liar…and probably a cheat, as well.
Lastly, once you have found a girl that you believe can be the one for you, for goodness sakes, cancel your membership to the web dating service. In the end, you know and she knows that online dating services are intended for those who are looking…not those people who have found or been found.
Online Flirting – A New Art Form
Many of the same things work for online flirting that work for “brick and mortar” flirting and all relationships start with successful flirting. Flirting is an art that requires oozing confidence without being OTT. In the event that you go too far, she will label you “slimy” If you don’t go far enough, she’ll label you “wimpy”. So how do you achieve that point half way between slimy and wimpy and do it online without using eye contact or body language? All you have is a pc a web connection and regular membership in an online dating service, right?
1. Have fun! Be light-hearted, funny and entertaining. Make her wanting to talk to you again. Flirting is playful.
2. Ooze confidence. Successful flirts have a positive outlook on life. You need to transmit the “feel good” factor. An optimistic attitude attracts females like honey draws in flies.
3. 3. Compliment her…and do it often and sincerely. Nothing opens doors like making her feel great about herself. She’ll want to spend more time with you and if she pays you a compliment say “thank you”. Do Not be self depreciating.
4. Listen…listen….listen. Pay attention to what she says and ask appropriate questions. Get her to open up and talk about herself. Make her feel like she is interesting and that you will be interested in her. Works wonders!
5. Don’t be rude. Flirting does not include being sexually explicit nor taking offence if the lady isn’t responding to you. If she isn’t interested, take the hint and move on to the next potential customer. If you get a great deal of rejections, you should probably consider a different approach.
6. Send an email after you talk. This ranks right up there with sending a thank you note for a present and it is essential to successful flirting.
Don’t make an effort to go too fast. Flirting is the first step to a successful relationship.
Nice Guys Do It, Too!
I’m talking about internet dating, of course. When the phenomenon of online dating sites started several years ago, they were a haven for perverts, sexual predators, nerds, and weirdoes of assorted varieties.
That is just no longer the case. All the stigma of online dating is gone. Online dating has gone main stream and is, not only acceptable, but expected. Online dating has become the primary tool of single people of all ages to generate an interesting and rewarding social life.
Let’s face it…we are busy guys. We just simply do not have the time, the energy, or the financial where-with-all to day several nights each week while we look for the “one”. You can sort through hundreds of profiles in per month for less money than you would spend on one evening out, thus, saving time and money. We use the internet to save ourselves money and time for a lot of things like investments, shopping, medical information, and communications.
Why not make use of such an useful tool for our social and personal lives as well? You could find the love of your life. At the very least, you will meet some interesting people and possibly make some lasting friendships. It’s easy to get started. All you need is a computer and an internet connection. You’ll need to search for online dating services that meet your specific needs. They are many and varied.
Join a couple of. Then you’ll need to write a great profile, upload a recently available picture of yourself and start making and answering contacts. That really is all there is to it…that and patience.
Don’t wait any longer to start your new and interesting sociable life. Miss or Ms. “Right” could be only a few clicks of the mouse away.
Online Dating Can Be Tough
Here’s a little secret that those of the feminine persuasion keep from us men: Women, even very beautiful women, like to be approached by a confident and interesting man. Are you surprised? It’s true…and confident and interesting are much more important than looks to females of all ages, too. That’s true for internet dating, as well as, dating in your offline world but we’re discussing internet dating here…so back to the subject at hand.
Once you have joined an internet dating service, you will find that there a lot more men than women and that the men are much more likely to browse profiles and make initial connections than women. Yes, it’s a woman’s world…still. It’s “traditional” for men to make the first move. It always has been and it always will be. Some things never change. That’s why your profile and picture are so important.
Remember…confident and interesting….and that does not translate to cocky and self-centered. It’s important that your profile lets people know that you have friends you care about and that you are passionately thinking about a variety of things…not JUST sports. Another thing about that all-important profile….please don’t start it with, “I’m the man your mama warned you about”.
You will have just shot yourself in the foot with that line. Another one to never use is, “I could be the man of your dreams”. The lady HOPES you are but she will be the judge of that…so don’t insult her intelligence. Remember….exude self-confidence and interesting and you will find that lady you have been looking for…or she’ll find you.
Won’t it be nice to have the ladies contacting you instead of you having to do everything? If you write a great profile that stands out in the crowd, that will happen.
Online Dating Safety For Men
Almost everything you read about online dating safety is directed at women but men need to be concerned as well. Perverts, intimate predators and weirdoes come in both sexes, all sizes, and everything age groups…as do, liars and cheaters. So men need to stay on guard, too.
It is common knowledge not to readily give out private information to strangers. The reason for not doing so is as large as the number of strangers who want that information. If you come across a person who is giving out personal information and asking others to do the same, don’t do it. You do not know what they want to use it for….and you had better believe they would like to utilize it for something. That “something” will not be for your benefit. Men, also, need to guard their real names, addresses, phone numbers, and place of employment. Do not give that information to anyone online until you are assured they are who they say they are.
Men, be wary of women who seem too financially needy. If they ask for money, in any of a dozen ways women can require money, cut the romantic relationship off immediately. They are not looking for love or even friendship….they are looking for financial help.
If a woman gives you a contact number nevertheless, you cannot ever reach her at that quantity, beware. In the event that you always have to page them or text them and have them call you back again, this could be a sign that what they are telling you is not the complete truth.
A need to get married and insecurity are other signs men should be very wary of. If the woman is pushing too hard for a commitment you aren’t ready to make, it might be a good time to mind for the nearest exit.
3 Online Dating Mistakes to Avoid
While you search the internet for that special lady…the main one of your dreams…your soul-mate…the other half of yourself, you can do a lot of things right. Sadly, you can, also, do a lot of things wrong….things that will guarantee failure and a broken heart. Out in the “real” world, being aggressive, demanding perfection and even little white lies are all ingredients for success. However, those same qualities are killers when you are dating online and off collection, too, for that matter.
There is a large difference between being aggressive or confident and being too aggressive, over-confident, or just plain sleazy or slimy from a woman’s point of view. If you push too much for a face-to-face, you will come across as too intense…maybe even, scary. Try to remember that you are not trying to close a business deal and keep the relationship progressing at a slow but steady pace. Patience is the key.
Nobody is perfect. We are all flawed in some way or another…and that includes you, as well. In the event that you expect the woman to be absolutely perfect and demand that, you will always be disappointed. Demanding perfectionism in your work is one thing. Demanding perfectionism from a pal, co-worker or a lady you are interested in is not only fine. It won’t happen. Expect flaws and just deal with them. Decide the ones you can live with and the ones you can’t.
Little white lies and false fronts won’t work. Be honest from the beginning of a romantic relationship. Write your profile. Make it interesting but don’t make fake statements. The truth will come out eventually anyhow. If you say you are a lawyer who makes a million bucks a year and you are really an electrician that makes $75,000, you have arranged yourself up for failing.
Remember…don’t be too aggressive, expect to ever find perfection or put on a false front.